October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month and because of that The Youth Peer Educators were asked:
Abuse can come in many forms such as physical, psychological, sexual or verbal. Have you or anyone that you know of been in an abusive relationship? If so, what was that like for you or your friend? If not, what are ways teens can avoid being in or staying in an abusive relationship?
It’s interesting to see that not all abuse victims act a certain way. If you’re ignorant about abuse, you might think you can identify a victim by their scars, or facial expressions, or reactions – but that’s not the case. I have a friend who is very talented; a happy-go-lucky type who is the sweetest person I know. She was sexually abused as a child for many years by a family member. This psychological and physical trauma led her to seek out other abusive partners when dating – they would physically, verbally, and sexually abuse her, but she would still stay. Fortunately she has recently been distancing herself away from these connections after therapy. I had no clue about her past and current situations and I think it’s important to realize that many victims of abuse do not act like victims because they do not see themselves as one; they see their abusers as victims who “need help because they’re not right mentally.” Victims often stay because they feel they can help their abuser stop their behavior, as was with the case with my friend.
I think other people can avoid abusive relationships by just educating themselves on the signs. Once the abuser starts being controlling and threatening with a consequence, that’s a red flag. I also believe that self-assessment on one’s own behavior is crucial to recognizing an abusive relationship; “Why do I keep coming back when he or she hits me or threatens me?”, “Why do I choose to believe their lies?”, “Is this what love is supposed to look like?” – these are just a few questions that might help.
If you or a friend is in a suspected abusive relationship, please think critically about getting help.
– G
Domestic violence is a serious thing. It can lead to major injuries, psychological issues, or even death. WEAVE, Inc. is a great resource to use if you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence. They are men, women, teen and LBGT friendly. They have a 24-hour support and information line at 916.920.2952 and call 911 if you are in immediate danger. Check out their website here: WEAVE, Inc.